October 2016 Michael & I found out the news no woman or man wants to hear ” children are not possible, naturally at least”. Fast forward to now, we have come along way.
What is the 1st thought that came to your mind when we were told no kids?
Michael: ” I cried, this sucks”
Me: ” I felt sad for Michael more than myself because he wanted children in such a way I cannot describe, & I felt broken for him & sad that I could not be like most of the other woman in my life and carry a child & become a mom the natural way”.
As a male in your perspective how did you take the news?
” I was upset, thoughts of walking my daughter down the aisle or playing sports with my son would not be in our future, those were my thoughts”
What impact did it have on us as a couple?
Michael: no impact negatively, more so made me overthink why are certain people able to have kids, and opened my eyes to see how some parents treat their children so poorly”
Me: brought us closer, have more compassion for each other.
Advice for other couples going through infertility issues:
Michael: ” A) everything will work out how it needs to be B) make sure you ask all the questions you can to your doctors, even if you think its stupid; you speak up!
Me: Try to remember everything happens for a reason, I am not saying you will think that right away but after time hopefully you will. You can be a mom or dad in many ways & you can still have a fulfilling happy life. As a woman carrying a child in your womb is not your only purpose and don’t let anyone tell you different.
To be real honest with you all, I never allowed myself to think ” oh maybe a miracle will happen and I will get pregnant” that is until January of this year. Now I have had my “cycle” since I was 10 years old, and even with my PCOS I have never have been late like ever! So after December came and went and nothing, I said I will give myself till mid January before even saying a thing to Michael because why give him false hope you know? but eventually I did briefly mention it and for a good two weeks we talked about it very little and I told a few close people my thoughts & people were even praying for us. Then bam January 25th it came & I just sobbed in Michael’s arms. I was angry with myself for allowing me to think it & even more mad I told him, but we tell each other everything! It was hard enough for me to keep it to myself for almost a month as it was.
The point of me laying this all out is because maybe this will be read by a couple or a individual that needs this and will see its okay to feel sad, mad, angry, useless, hopeless but only for a brief time! Then you get up, and keep going! You are more than your struggles & there is a light at the end of everyone’s tunnel and I believe that with all my heart.
Michael & I are now on the journey to adopt, not sure if we are doing private or agency adoption but we hope with prayer & research we will know by the end of this month.
Colie & Michael 🙂