Hey all I’m back,
Not to go quoting a Thomas Rhett song but life sure does change and in a blink of an eye at that. Last I wrote I was part of a “we” and ready to adopt, fast forward a month or so later and I am just me and adoption is on pause. Things have moved so quickly, we have the house on the market and I am in this super cute apartment that I just adore down port. I am always raw and honest however; in this situation it involves too many people for me to put it on blast, I will say that I did not think at 29 I would be separated and be divorced soon. When this first went down those who were with me saw me at my worst and those that stuck around are my forever people and it got me to see who are not my people which is also a blessing. I was convinced my life was over and as dramatic as it sounds it really did feel that was the case, I literally did want to crawl up and die. That is as low as a person can get and I was there, never did I think I would be where I am now, with a sense of hope and joy in my heart that I did not have 3 weeks ago.
The truth is if it wasn’t for the support I had around me and a God who never leaves my side I would have probably ended things right then and there. I am thankful I already had therapy in place and my medication to help with my anxiety and depression as it was so I was able to get emergency sessions and the medication helped me not be as bad as it could have been. I have overcome many things in my life, but this taught me a strength I did not know I had it was as if every ounce of me said ” get up, continue living because you are too damn special”! So that is what I did, after six days of not eating or sleeping well I woke up on that Monday morning and said I will get through this.
It is a day to day battle, obviously Michael was mine for 12 years and we met when we were 16! I do not know who Nicholle is without him, but I feel okay saying I am excited to find out who I am. I want to take the time to get to know the in’s and out’s of me, and this is my first time ever living on my own. Please do not be reading this and think ” wow heartless how is she so quick to move on” it is not that I am heartless; it is that due to the circumstances thrown my way I have no choice. I am currently in my 3rd day in my own small apartment and I am loving it, it is decorated modern with a beautiful gold Wayfair bar cart & a lot I mean a lot of candles!
My blog will now take a new route, about me, myself and I and the new adventures of Colie. I will forever be Auntie Colie to my babies and that is a guaranty and I will continue to talk about my PCOS, anxiety & my new life.