After a storm there is a rainbow…

Hey all,

My mind is on over load as per usual. I sometimes sit and think wow I’m 30 and what do I have to show for it? No, I don’t feel sorry for myself. If anything I feel sad some days; it does not matter if it has been 8 months or 8 days. I am still adjusting to my new “normal”, I enjoy living with people again that’s a plus, I do miss having my go to person that is for sure!

I wonder when the day will be when I wake up and don’t ache even a  little bit? or when I’ll listen to a song and not see those memories. If that does not come that’s okay too, I loved my life and will continue to love my new life. Today I was told I have endless possibilities and I can do what I want, I can now re create my life; from the outside I can see how that could be awesome and you know what it is in some ways. I have ideas of what I do want to do in the near future, I also know If I can stop thinking “what if” or “I miss this” it will be easier for me to embrace this journey.

Thirty years old, the big 30; so much ahead of me, new friendships growing, traveling solo, personal training, finding and searching for my beauty & becoming the best Nicholle I can be. This means taking care of myself, learning how to love myself ( which I don’t know if anyone else finds that hard), learning to see myself beyond my flaws. Yes I am thicker than I use to be, yes I have hormonal acne like a pubescent teen, yes I long to have hair that can air dry and not look like I stuck my hand in a socket but I am learning to embrace what I have and change what I can.

I’ll be a God mommy soon to my little Royce & I need to be a healthy, awesome aunt! That is mind, body and soul all three attributes make a human what they are. I thank God he got me this far and the unknown is scary but I know I am not alone.


Colie 🙂


5 thoughts on “After a storm there is a rainbow…

  1. Your such a strong women! Sometimes i get were i say what if, or I wish and i know it’s a rabbit hole i need to stay far from but sometimes it happens. Your such a beautiful wonderful person i know life has wonderful tomorrow’s for you! Love ya Evie


  2. Love you! I promise it will get easier! And those words are so true! you can choose your own journey now! its all in your hands! I used to be so scared to change or making a decision but now k always say “ well if i do this whats the worst that could happen? Is anyone gonna die? No? Ok then lets do it! “


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