Self Sabotage turned Self Esteem

Hey all,

I don’t know about you but I am low on self esteem, no matter what stage of life I was at I just never had much self esteem. Lately though I started just saying little positive things like ” you got this” “you are loved” “you are awesome”; now it is unknown if I believe them at the time I am saying it but I believe positivity breads positivity.

As I say often, I love listening to podcasts and getting to learn more about this world, ways to cope, just be me, be happy, learn its okay to be sad, its okay to be motivated, okay to need a moment to just be, its okay to be proud when you accomplish amazing things despite all odds, etc. Whatever is your method to get in good head space do it!

I’ve been doing a lot of looking back lately, and as many woman do I saw pictures before I let depression and eating over take me, when I could literally wear size 14/16 girls at 17 years old ( yes thought I was fat then) and I wonder why was I so hard on myself, why are you so hard on yourself? Men and woman alike do this, and then when we see where we are now its like really?! What I’d do to be back at that body and not have to be starting all over again. All this is based on my choices, I can’t blame being in a comfortable relationship or being in stages of depression because there are plenty of people in both and they remained healthy. Only I can pave my new path, I want to be obsessed with myself and know that it is okay to do so and it is really awesome actually to be obsessed with bettering yourself!

Heard this saying that stuck with me, it is great to be inspired by others but do not compare yourself to others, instead compare yourself to your own self and grow. I can compare myself to myself 10 months ago and say Holy Toledo I am certainly stronger than I was then and I will continue to better myself and in a few months look back and be like “wow, I couldn’t do this back then” etc.

I am talking beyond weight and looks, the whole package, the mental,spiritual and physical growth. I’ve already pushed myself to three intense work outs this past week & I sure feel it but it made me feel great to accomplish each class without stopping. I have so much to be grateful for; I see nothing but amazing things for 2020; I hope the same for all of you reading this as well.

Smiles 🙂




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