The Unknown

Hey all,

It has been a while again, I don’t know if you realized but since my last post; things are a bit crazy. You really never know what will happen from day to day, you can plan sure but really your plans mean nothing. As I sit here in isolation from the outside world I am so grateful to be in the living situation I am in & to know most of my loved ones are home safe. However; I do have a handful of loved ones out in the work field being deemed “essential”. Truly panicking and worrying does nothing more then harm you and those around you, just take care of yourself, don’t be selfish and do things contrary to what your being told and just breath!

I wasn’t even thinking about this subject when I got out my laptop to be honest. As I was cleaning my room for a whopping 6 hours today; I came across a planner I started in January & in it was a goal section. It has a few circles on a page, one marked 3 months, 6 months, 9 months etc. On the three month goal I wrote “down 25lbs and happier all around”, when I read that I teared up and was like “wow, I crushed that”. I forgot I wrote that, I even forgot about the planner to be honest. Something about cleaning and purging is so therapeutic, I literally have purged three times alone since the middle of  2019 and I still had bags of stuff to donate.  It feels good to just keep what you need & not to hang on to items you have no use for.

To enjoy being in your own company & loving who you are is truly something amazing. Someday’s are better than others but I believe that goes with anything that your working on. I thought a lot about the “happier all around” part, touching on the unknown; I am so happy to be where I am today. I no longer feel I force the smile or the laugh, I legit have so much love around me and so much love for my tribe it is unreal.

Being alone also gives you time to think and reflect; I’ve been told time & time again “not everyone thinks like you though” & I still struggle with it. I wear my heart on my sleeve & I wish everyone else did too. I guess that is why we are all created as unique individuals right? I spend a great deal of my days wondering how people think how they do, or how they seem to not care about things I feel they should. It does nothing but take up space in my head, living up there rent free. Learning ways to change that has been good for me, thanks to therapy, trusting her & using her skills to make me a better version of myself.

Facing the unknown right now in most aspects of life as many of you are; all we can do is our part and ban together. Don’t let what is going on in the world today steal your JOY.


Colie 🙂

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