Change seems to be a new constant in my life since 2019. Change of marital status, change of location (x2 about to be 3),change of occupation and change of roommates. Here we are mid 2020 and my changing will continue, I decided to take the leap and start over somewhere new. Somewhere that I can go on drives or to places and not have my past hit me like a ton of bricks. Beautiful memories I might add, but it brings a sense of sadness to my heart and I need to move on.
I cry on and off every time I think of moving, and just when I feel it is the right decision, something occurs and I fall apart again. Yesterday telling my nieces and nephews was rough, especially doing it via face time( because I am in isolation). One of them cried so hard that I was a blubbery mess for over an hour, these kids have lost so much in the past year as well and I feel I am letting them down. Their parents are kind enough to tell me I am doing the right thing and they all understand, but I can’t shake the feeling at times.
Siblings all have their bonds, if your lucky enough all of you get along. That is my case as I have mentioned I am the oldest of 4 technically 5 ( I believe I have mentioned before I have a half sister as well). It is natural to also gravitate towards one more than the other, my one sister and brother are inseparable as am I with my other sister. There is nothing wrong with being “closer” to one over the other and it is even nicer when you all have a unique bond as we all do. The reason I bring this up is because that is where my decision to move to SC came from, my sister moved there in April with my Godson & brother in law and I feel like it all has lined up for me to join them down there. Getting my two fur babies back is also a huge plus!
There is going to be so much I miss from here, I have never known another place besides Long Island. I’ll miss the family I am leaving behind , the friends too but I am only a 11.5 hour car ride away or a short plane ride. I have been to the Carolina’s often and I know deep down I will be genuinely happy , it is just the getting down there and starting over part that I need to get over. At 30 years old, I can say I am happy where I am now, I am not where I thought I’d be but happy with how I’ve grown and changed my life with integrity and grace.
I don’t know what my life will look like down in SC but I know it is time for me to put myself and my needs above all for once. Those who know me know it is so hard to do that but at 30, its time to do so. At the end of July I will be heading down with my two fur babies ( Jax & Coco) and we will begin a new , exciting life. They will have a dog park, and mama will have a pool and gym! I will make new memories and I will be so close to my family in SC and NC.