This time it really has been a while since I wrote, I’ve been thinking a lot about the last two years. March is now a time in which I reflect on my life and what has happened since. I am loving my friends at work, even on the most stressful of days we end up laughing at stupid jokes we tell or things that just come out of our mouth. I find joy in the smallest of things now, from booba clapping the second I walk in the room to a good show on Netflix that I can binge watch.
It dawns on me at random times that I love, love so much. I couldn’t allow myself to be closed off; instead I made quite a few interesting choices in the past two years but the most important one was knowing my mental needed fixing before I could really open up to the possibility of new love and have a fresh outlook on life. Today as I walked in this beautiful park I saw all these old men and woman alone in power wheelchairs and the thought that ran through my mind was ” I don’t want to end up alone”. I want to enjoy life to the fullest whatever that entails and embrace the new.
Nothing beats a good “me” day as I’ve mentioned numerous times and today was just that. I love being outside and seeing the turtles and ducks along my walk, it was the first place I walked when I moved here with my sister and its just so beautiful. Walking clears my head, even if I have music or a podcast in my ear I still can reflect and be at peace. Some get it confused the thought of loving yourself and being conceited but they are so very different.
Me right now I’m still learning to love who I am and where I was two years ago to today is night and day. I love myself, but I am not conceited in the way you think of girls in high school. I have my flaws and I have my doubts about myself at times but in the end I am a boss babe. Life threw me a curve ball or more so a grenade and I was left to pick up the pieces one by one. It taught me so much and in hindsight maybe I did see the red flags but I can’t go back, I can only keep it moving from here.
South Carolina has taught me to go more slow, enjoy life and say yes ma’am and yes sir ( which did not come natural for me at all!!) I can genuinely say I love my life at this moment and I know something amazing is just around the corner of waiting for me.