It has been a minute since I have been on here, life has been moving so fast for me & so many changes.
Since I have been on I moved from living with my brother, to living with my best friend, to now living and taking care of my grandmother in an apartment. I also had to adopt out one of my dogs and give my coco puffs back to my ex-husband due to my living situation. With all that being said I am okay and happy.
I have taken the past 3.5 years to work on myself, in that time I have tried to find love and affection in all the wrong places, then took time for myself and shut away all the extra noise, and now I finally can say I am happy where I am. I have allowed myself to go out there and find happiness again,
Happiness does come within yourself however; it is nice to find happiness with a companion as well. Once you self reflect for a long time and realize your worth. That is with anything, work, family, friends, relationships. Do not settle, do not accept people to treat you any way other than how you deserve. set boundaries and if they do not honor it move on.
I always thought that if they are family then I have no choice but to deal with it. That is not the case, family does not mean you stick around to be treated like shit or be taken advantage of. Once you realize that ,you will feel a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders.
Therapy is my new best friend, I recently started a new relationship, or a dating period I should say. I realized I still had a lot that I was dealing with from being cheated on and betrayed and I was projecting all my fears onto him, anything he said I would think the worst. It is not fair to do this to someone you want to be with for long term, or anyone really. I am so thankful he is understanding and he is aware of everything I have gone through as I think it is important to be completely transparent in any relationship.
It is a task to be with someone with baggage so to speak, that goes for both ways. No one is perfect, everyone has been hurt in some capacity. It really goes back to if you know your worth, you can be open, be transparent, let them in. You deserve the most out of everything you want in life.
For me I want to love again, I want to make someone smile daily and have someone make me do the same. I want my next person, I know I deserve love again. I know what I have to give to people. At 33 my life is not what I thought it would be but hey, it may be better and I don’t know it yet. I know I am more comfortable with myself and I am the happiest at where I am in my life since 2019.
I have a new niece, I have a person who makes me smile, I am taking care of and living with my grandmother, I have group of solid friends and a support system I am beyond grateful for.
All this to say, if you are in a spot of life where you think you cannot get out, you do not see a light, trust me do not give up.Three and a half years ago I went to drive off Bear Mountain in NY, and I got the call that I was going to be a godmother and I just continued on my drive home. It was not my time and I have purpose.
You will make it, you will love again, you will smile again, you will make it