I cannot believe it is 2023 already, I feel like it was Thanksgiving yesterday. So much has happened since I last wrote.
Personal growth is probably how I would describe my journey for 2022 and it is continuing ten-fold in 2023. Sober living, owning my worth, wearing my crown, stepping into my feminine like I never have before. Standing up for myself and what I deserve in any area of my life was always a struggle, but at 33 I owe it to myself to get the most out of my life.
People pleasing use to describe me to a T, and stopping that has been the biggest improvement in my life I would have to say. I say no when I don’t want to say yes, I no longer worry someone will be mad at me if I do so. There is something about taking your life into your own hands and knowing what you will and will not accept.
Manifestation is so prevalent in my life during this time, there is such power in putting out there what you want for yourself and in your life. I’ve been listening to a new podcast called “date yourself instead” and one episode was about taking your power back and focusing on yourself and your needs. Make yourself a priority, take care of your spiritual, physical and mental well being.
I’ve been back in therapy for a few months now and I realized how much I still have inside me, from childhood to my marriage ending. So much unresolved within myself and if I am on the journey to be the best me I can be I need to heal and let it all out. As I stated in my last blog post I did meet someone and I do not know what the future will hold but for now I had to realize I need more and he was very upfront and said I cannot give you what you deserve and need at this point in time. Now the old Nicholle would have held on and said ” okay well I can settle for this right now” but something switched in my brain over this past week and I had to say okay for now I walk. It was one of the hardest things I have done in a long long time.
I yearn for love and companionship but it needs to align with what I am giving out, I need my energy matched. It sucks, I thought I found my new person. Maybe we will align in the future and I would be happy if that happens but I need to be okay if it doesn’t either. Happiness within myself is the priority right now, continue finding Nicholle. I have been on this specific journey since March 2019 and I think now I have a very good idea of who I am but I know there is more to learn.
I hope if you are going through a time in your life of transition or a new journey, stay strong. Keep your head up high and remember it is okay to cry and it is okay to take a beat and even have a day in bed and not want to move. But in the end you will get up and keep it moving. I am eager to see how my mental, spiritual and physical journey improves going forward. Someone recently told me I am one of the most selfless and amazing people they have met but even that wasn’t enough to hold on to something that was not right for this moment in time. Sometimes you can’t wrap your head around things like that, when everything seems so wonderful until it is not.
Till next time…