Switching gears from adoption and infertility talk, not that its not on my mind 24/7 but a more pressing issue at hand is talking to you all about the excitement of finally taking the steps to be the best version of yourself!
I have spent the past 29 years of my life feeling the need to please everyone! A “people pleaser” was one of my main characteristics, you can be told its okay to just say “NO” but in my world that was easier said than done. I loved to make people happy and I still do but now I am okay saying ” I need a me day” or “Michael and I are taking an us day”. When you sit and come up with what makes you happy, or think how can I be the best version of myself, most likely at the top will be take care of your mind, body and spirit. With becoming a better you it may mean weeding people out of your life, it can happen naturally or purposely and either is okay.
Once you become in touch with your inner self and think ” who are the people I want in my circle” it becomes pretty clear who should be there and who should not. The word narcissistic has come up a lot lately a few times in a podcast I was listening to and also during a therapy session while talking about those in my life. Growing up with one was difficult and played a huge part of why my childhood was how it was and how I am today. During therapy discussions I learned I may have others close to me either full blown narcissistic or has character traits of one. There is no cure for this as it is a personality disorder however; therapy can help to cope the best they are able to. I bring this up because my eyes were opened to why I always felt a certain way, or maybe why I gravitated towards people such as the one I grew up with. I sat and realized “wow” I no longer need to put up with this, I am no longer a child; I am a grown woman who needs to not let her past define her. I no longer have to feel afraid to say “NO” with fear of is someone going to be mad at me, will this person turn on me, will I be judged etc.
It has taken me 29 years to get to this point, a lot of prayer and guidance. A supportive circle around me and a desire to be genuinely happy. Who else has gone through this or who else wants help to be the best you, you can be?! I am a work in progress and always will be but I am not where I was.